I have been reading stories recently that were put up on medium.com. Medium is basically a place where people can put up thoughts and experiences that might not find a home elsewhere. It is primarily a place for opinions about the world or some part of it.
And there are quite a few stories put up by black American women in which they recount their experiences with relationships. And the stories are basically a tale of woe. Like many others, they use internet dating to meet potential partners and they do find that hard going.
Meeting a compatible partner is tricky at any age and always has been. And the big issue is what one finds attractive or acceptible in another person. And you will never get perfection in another person. The other person may lack attraction in most ways but there have to be a few things there that are positive. And what black women look for is not mysterious or unusual.
But they often find NOTHING attractive in black men. They find black men to be inconsiderate, violent, useless and parasitical. And the women say that loud and clear. Some of the entries on medium.com amount to a long hate session about black men
And there is no easy solution to that. The obvious solution is to find a white man in the hope that he will be more civilized. And black women do look in that direction. But white men who date black women are few and they are pretty fussy. They want a black woman with lots of desirable qualities. So at most a black woman has on average only a 5% chance of teaming up with a white man.
So almost all black women are stuck with black men if they are to have any kind of partner. So they are in an unusually unfortunate position. Because they live in a predominantly white society, they tend to acquire the attitudes, expectations and values of whites. What they want is black man who behaves accordingto white standards. And they will very rarely get that
I am not of course saying that white men are always good partner material. With my record of four marriages and many relationships, I would have to be one of the problem people. In the circumstances, I am very glad that at age 78 I do nonetheless have a loving lady in my life. And I met her through the internet! -- JR.