The article below by an ethnic lady is most unusual. What she describes probably happens within her own society of origin and maybe it happens in our society too -- among the less educated, perhaps
"Gold-diggers" are a known female phenomenon in a our society. I have met a few. So what the author describes is partly familiar. Using a pretence of extreme femininity as part of that is a somewhat novel idea, though
She will use her Garlic Mashed Potatoes and Good Sex to Manipulate the Dizzy Man of her Choosing
Dating is hard enough, but you should at least know who you’re dating, and who they really are. Traditional gender roles have truly confused a lot of people. They have left them believing that duties are who someone is inside, and duty really means nothing. There are men, and in my observation young men being the majority, that often believe a woman performing “traditional wifely duties” (cooking, cleaning, consistent sex, silence, forgiveness, etc.) is a “good woman”. That isn’t necessarily the case. What is this woman like? What is her true character. A fascination with traditional gender roles often leads young men, and anyone else engaging in love and relationships, astray.
Does it really matter that the person you’re dating is a liar? No, really, have you noticed that she lies her ass off, or were you too busy eating her homecooked meals? Did you possibly pass over a sweet honest girl who occasionally burns the macaroni and cheese just to date a snake that keeps a clean house and hot pot of grits and cheese on the stove? Did you ignore a kind girl with a heart of gold for a “loyal” woman who smiles in your face but quietly fucks your friends when you are out of town? I know men who have done it. They allowed the shallow to overshadow the deep, the real, the truth.
Character often falls way low on the list when sexism and male entitlement are a man’s primary lens for viewing women, and the more sexist, misogynistic, and entitled the man, the less likely he is to notice the character of the woman he’s courting. He wants to feel powerful, “masculine”, in control, dominant, special, like a King of sorts. A woman who understands this, a woman who has been taught this from youth, a woman who may very well be of piss-poor character, will exploit this. She will file “traditional wife skills” under “feminine wiles” and use those feminine wiles to facilitate a passive-aggressive “capture” of a blind man who actually believes he is in control.
She will use her garlic mashed potatoes and gravy to distract him from the lies she tells, the business of his she shares with friends and associates who never even asked. She will give him all the sex he can and cannot handle, though she doesn’t even enjoy it (but pretends to), and may be secretly sleeping with someone else on the side … just to ensure he continues to bring his paycheck home. That is the sort of “opportunity” that “traditional gender roles” often provide the sinister. Sometimes, poor character finds a great place to hide in “traditional gender roles”. This is why misogyny, sexism, and sometimes, even religion, can be dangerous.
People are people. They are full, complex, and complete. They are evolving, and unique. They have character and layers. We are not just “archetypes”. No one is simply, “an archetype”, and it is understanding this truth that allows us to move forward in relationships with not one, but both eyes wide open. Who is this person? What are their likes? What do they love? What is their definition of friendship? When you find the right person, a good person, male, female or non-binary, you are lucky, blessed, favored.
A good person can learn to cook, provide, clean, protect, have more sex, listen, have fun, or whatever will make their partner happy. They are honest, pure, and excited to be in a loving relationship. They aren’t some creepy Stepford imitating biblical standards of gender perfection for kudos, pats on the back, or to hide all of the betrayals they are levying at their significant other. They are trustworthy, trusting, kind, thoughtful, considerate, loving, healthy, and well-meaning before anything else.
Use your own mind to choose your partner, because choosing a partner based on gender roles, tradition, and what “they” say may actually pave your way to a long-term relationship with a virtual stranger … who makes great pot roast.
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