Boy are the pirates feeling most unlucky that they were caught by the Russians. If it had been Americans, they'd be mirandized and on their way to New York as I type this, for a speedy trial and fast-track to citizenship, maybe even a deep bow and an apology of some sort from president zero.Times Online - Russian commandos dramatically rescued the crew of an oil tanker today that had been seized by pirates off the coast of Somalia. Special forces marines stormed the Liberian-registered Moscow University and freed all 23 Russian crew members unharmed. One pirate was reported killed and ten others were arrested after a firefight during the dawn helicopter raid on the vessel, which is carrying 86,000 tonnes of oil worth $52 million (£34 million).
...The crew locked themselves in a safe room, which had reinforced doors that could be opened only from inside, when the Somali pirates boarded the tanker. The ship had been disabled and was not moving, although crew members told officials that pirates were attempting to get into the engine room. The Kremlin despatched the warship to the Gulf of Aden as soon as the crisis broke yesterday about 350 miles (560km) off the coast of Somalia.
Unfortunately the stupid savages made the mistake of screwing with the Russians. I have this funny feeling that if they do make it back to Moscow for a trial of some sort, they'll have fewer teeth than when they gleefully boarded that tanker, and some might even meet with the odd, unfortunate accident on route.
Well you see comrade, these Africans are known to have poor balance and the swells can be surprisingly rough this time of summer, but he pleaded to act out the bow-scene from Titantic, so we thought we should grant him a final wish. How were we supposed to know all of them would trip, somersault, climb over and nose-dive into the sea!