Time to ban chainsaws

News.com.au - Prosecutor Constable Scott Parsons told the court the Gordonvale man arrived at the house after 10pm and tried to start a fight with one of the occupants before leaving and returning with his chainsaw. He said Mr Baird used the chainsaw to terrify the occupants and damage the property, including sawing a lounge chair in half. When his chainsaw ran out of petrol Mr Baird went to his work vehicle to get a second one so he could continue the rampage, the court heard.
Clearly, chainsaws are dangerous weapons and the use of these nasty devices must be regulated by the nanny state. After all we don't allow the above people to defend themselves with guns, so why should they be allowed to defend themselves with chainsaws. We need some sort of bureaucracy set up immediately to handle the licensing of chainsaws. Only nanny's bureaucracy can keep us safe.

Only those demonstrating a work-related need, are above 18 and can safely store the chainsaw in a safe should be allowed to have/operate them. Also they must be forced to keep the chainsaw empty of petrol at all times when not using it to lop trees. They must also be stripped of all their rights to privacy and be open to police inspections at any time to ensure they're storing the chainsaw safely when at home.

Our gun control laws have kept us safe for years now and there hasn't been a shooting or stabbing in Australia in the last 10 years! Banning and regulating chainsaws will deliver a similar result. Passing the joint yo'all.


  1. It's worse than you think, MK. Some people use chainsaws to cut down precious trees.

  2. Even more reason to regulate the sale and use of them. :)

  3. Chainsaws do need to be forbidden but not for the reasons stated above, but for the freaking noise they make and the primary purpose they're used for by pretty much every idiot neighbour I've had: Useless crap and killing plants.


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