"...NASA reported evidence in September that global temperatures are very nearly the warmest they have been for a million years."
Sure. Of course. Based on data from how many sampling points, exactly? And why does the on-the-ground historical record from so many locations flatly contradict this?
".. China's reliance on burning coal may be fuelling an economic boom, but the pollution is suffocating its people."
Really? All those Chinese are busy making/having babies, cranking out manufactured goods at a staggering rate, getting married, educated and travelling the world, all the while as they're SUFFOCATING!
"..And on top of this, scientists have realised that plants have been belching or hiccupping out methane without anybody noticing. The upper estimates suggest that plants could be emitting up to 30% of global methane, a potent greenhouse gas, potentially knocking existing climate models out of kilter."
"Potentially"? They missed something in their mathematical models that may be contributing up to 30% of methane, and it MAY knock them out of kilter...some models you've got there, guys. And you want the bejeesus taxed out of us on the basis of your "science", eh..
"..We are seeing the effects of climate change all around us. Whales are moving north as oceans warm "
The fuckers! Moving NORTH! Have they no shame? No respect for tradition? No compass?
"..In February, researchers revealed that the rate of loss of the Greenland ice sheet has doubled over a decade - in fact, every 40 hours or so, a cubic kilometre of water is lost as icebergs crash into the Atlantic. Some fear the melting of Greenland's glaciers is heading for a point of no return within a century, causing a catastrophic sea level rise."
Hmm. Memo to scientists and to gullible greenies: Go put some salt water into a glass. Note level. Add ice-cube. Note level again. Wait for ice to melt and note level yet again. I'll wait.
"..Hurricanes were not as severe in 2006 as the year before, but experts have been left wondering if warming is boosting them;"
These experts are doing a fuck of a lot of wondering--only last year they were telling us with complete assurance that it was going to be the apocalyptichumungousalltimerecord season for hurricane strengths.what happened? Your er..model thingy couldn't possibly be..um..wrong, could it?
".However, as one small ray of hope, experts now deem it unlikely that the North Atlantic current which warms Europe will switch off, plunging us into a new ice age as it did in the far-fetched climate disaster movie The Day After Tomorrow."
Ah, those experts again. They've taken to deeming instead of guessing. No, wait! "they deem" is just another term for "they haven't a fucking clue so they're guessing again."
"..Scientists warned in February, that we are eating our way through an entire food chain. One fish at least - Thailand's giant Mekong catfish - has been granted a royal reprieve aimed at protecting it from further exploitation."
Eating our way through an entire food chain is what humans DO. Start with carrots and beef and stuff, move on to chocolate cake and ice cream...Seems harmless enough, but then I'm not a Climate Change Expert Scientist.And--have you seen that catfish? Why would anyone want to save a big ugly useless bastard like that anyway?
".. In rare good conservation news, one marine biologist suggested in February that we may have massively overestimated the decline of the green turtle. "
Well, mate, you've massively over-estimated the decline/increase/decrease of damn near everything else, so just don't expect surpised expressions from us, ok?
New Scientist "news"