Here's the latest gem:
Gosh, guys – maybe that's why you don't know what's going on. Just an idea – maybe you better hold a Senate enquiry (because they seem to be running about setting up enquiries into just about everything else).
LABOR today admitted it had made no requests to the Government for briefings on Iraq.
Oh – silly moi. They've already thought of it:
Labor has said it would consider setting up a Senate inquiry into the troop deployment if it does not receive a satisfactory briefing.Okay – first we want a Senate enquiry into why we forgot to ask for a briefing. As soon as we've concluded that it was the Government's fault, we'll have another Senate enquiry into whether or not we got enough from the briefing we forgot to ask for in the first place (personally, I don't like their chances – they're far too busy setting up Senate enquiries to remember).
A spokesman for Prime Minister John Howard said today the Federal Governmenthad not received any formal request from Labor for a special briefing on the deployment of extra troops to Iraq.Kidding, right? When we've got all these Senate enquiries to set up? Who's got time for a bl**dy briefing!
Labor's defence spokesman Robert McClelland today admitted the party had not actually made a request for briefings.Just a teeny weeny little tip, Bob: 'ask and you shall receive'. Of course that hasn't stopped them screaming for the lack of briefings. With all that screaming, of course, it's no wonder they forgot to ask. . .
He told Channel Seven today he had not received any briefings on the situation in Iraq since last October's federal election.
"We've had advice regarding the troop deployment, their position and so forth, but at no stage have we been provided with a briefing as to likely or possible scenarios that might happen in Iraq."At no stage did we get a briefing! None – none, we tell you! That eeeeeevil Government.
Asked whether he had requested them, Mr McClelland said: "In terms - no, quite frankly."Oooooops. To anyone who's wondering, and just in case the rest of that sentence got in the way, that's a plain old, every day kind of 'no'. Well, at least he's being frank. . .
Opposition Leader Kim Beazley said yesterday he had written to Mr Howard seeking a briefing on the government's decision to send an extra 450 troops to southern Iraq.Oh well, better set up another enquiry, then.
Mr Howard's spokesman said no request had been received.
Mr McClelland said that until Labor had a briefing, it was "flying in the dark" on the issue of intelligence.Well, I can agree with them there – on the issue of intelligence, 'flying in the dark' pretty much sums them up. Problem is, I don't think any number of briefings is going to help you on that front, fellas.
Better stick with the enquiries.